| Carissaxlpy

As hard as it was, I think I’m okay with how we are. At some point, we both wish we didn’t ignore each other like that. I’ll be forgiving him, someday. People make mistakes, second chances are okay, but more than that… no. It’s like a weight has just been lifted, I can finally breathe and not worry about what he will say, or when he would finally stopped ignoring me. Because now I no longer care; he doesn’t concern me anymore.

I’m not going to be there to clear his shit or be his back up. I’m not going to be the one to blame, and you’re not going to use me as a cover up anymore. I’m done, I’m through.

Both of you can just stay in Fuckerville and fuck each other up. Leave me the fuck out of it.

Aww, you guys..

You know when something like this comes up, I’d usually be a bitch about things but I’m actually just really amused and flattered by this. I’ve juniors letting me know about some girl who copied me, my blog or whatever, and it gets random-er, my ex just asked me out. Today’s really.. interesting I’d say.

So back to the kid, apparently she went to the same school as me, 2 years younger and is currently attached to one of my previous classmates. Like, wow, things just got even more random. Then a kind soul did me a favor and just pasted her blog url to me on Formspring and I was like, doesn’t ring a bell until my friend told me she’s Jaslyn’s ex, then I was like, ohhhh her. Sorry, I’m bad with unimportant faces and names.

Anyhoo, less than a day and my formspring is flooded! These are the few I’ve replied, but I’d like to make something clear. I don’t tolerate people bashing gays, lesbians or even bisexuals. Because she’s “shallow, low, pathetic, a loser, blah” and a bisexual (she claims), doesn’t make the whole, for the lack of better word, community like her. I refuse to accept or reply comments with regards to this for obvious reasons.

That aside, I have two friends asking me to “finish her” or spare my readers her “atrocious blog”, he says. What an entertaining Saturday.

Honestly, I’m really amused and flattered, but I’m on to more important things in my life like getting ready and heading out because she’s just irrelevant (:

You can pay for school or goods, but you can’t buy class (;

are the gaps in my ribcage, where the sunrise winds through to my heart and you are the part of the sunset that is so pink the grasshoppers think maybe we should stop and watch. You are the moon when it bloomed for the first time and a child inspired unwound the lid of a jar that set ten-thousand grasshoppers free and you drive me fucking crazy.

I mean insanely. You make me wanna take a fork to my eyeballs, rip the hair from my armpits and shove it down my throat cause I would rather choke than argue another minute with you.

Jeremy.T: You’ve always been there for people even if they don’t deserve it. You put them as a priority, in front of yourself.

Carissa: I guess it can be a weakness at times.

Jeremy.T: It’s not a weakness. That’s what so attractive about you, you sacrifice for other.

Carissa: Sometimes it’d make me feel unappreciated because I know the person will not do the same for me.

Jeremy.T: True, but for me, I might do things differently but I really appreciate everything you do. That’s why I cherish you a lot. You’re special.

Carissa: Nice to know (:

Jeremy.T: I do things different and I might make you feel unappreciated at times, but in the end, both of us just want the best out of our relationship. That’s why I’ve always believed we can pull through.

-

I felt my eyes wet as I read our conversation. At times I feel so lost, I’ve no idea what to do and just feel like giving up. But you’ve never once gave up on me, on us.

Caught Breaking Dawn a couple of hours ago and it was pretty good I must say! Better than expected. 5 outta 5 popcorns. For those who’ve yet to watch, be sure to wait till after the credits (;

I wanna eat you like swans eat flowers. Baby, if swans ever ate flowers, I would eat you like that for hours.

Except when you’re sour and acting like a self-righteous grumpy old grump, like you do sometimes, cause those times you make me wanna run to the edge of the fucking world and hurl myself into a black fucking hole and never come back ever. And then there’re the times I wanna be with you forever and follow you forever wherever you go.

You’re enlisting in a few hours time, and though we met just minutes before, I miss you already. I never thought we’d get this close, but know that you’re important to me. You’re heading towards another chapter in your life, but fret not, our friendship remains.

Till we see you again in December, love, C. 

My life now goes back to being nocturnal. I sleep between 5am - 8am, and wake up in the evening if my social calendar allows it. I’ve been out every single day except today, technically yesterday because it’s after 12mn, but I’m going to say today anyways because I’ve not slept. Is that a good reason? Anyhoo, moving on… my Wednesday (I guess it’d be a better way to put it) was filled with movies after movies, and sitcom episodes after episodes. The only reasons I leave my room is for bathroom purposes, and dinner. Other than that, it’s my comfy silk sheets, my iMac and I against the world. JT calls it my “handicap mode”, for obvious reasons. And I wonder why my friends call me a sloth.. hmm..

Lessons are out till next year, but I’d try not to slack off. It’s my final year after all, and I’ve to meet my supervisor for my 12000 word essay. I’d like to say that I can’t wait and have been making trips to the Airport’s Starbucks for an all-nighter, but.. who am I kidding? The only reason I’d be heading to the Airport anytime soon is because of my trip to Bangkok (!!!) which is next Friday. JT has everything planned, and he even wants me to bring, or buy (okay, I added this part), a nice fancy dress for a fancy place. I’m excited! And to be honest, I think we really need this getaway. According to Bernard’s World Of Warcraft references, we need to “renew” or “heal” the relationship since I’m a Blood Elf Priest. Okay, I can’t believe I’m not only taking Bernard’s advice and quoting World Of Warcraft, but it’s true. In non-geeky terms, rekindle is the word.

I guess.. I just needed to know that we’re together because there’s no one else we’d rather be and not because we’re comfortable with one another. Till now, I don’t even know if it means the same thing. But we’ll see how it goes, I guess.

Damn these feelings you get after 2am…